Keeps on Giving
by LunarFlare14
Summary: On Arthur's birthday, Merlin ends up on the bad end of magic and flees Camelot. What happens when a mysterious beast starts attacking travelers? Arthur will do what it takes to keep Merling safe, but at what price? SLASH ARTHUR/MERLIN MERTHUR ETC.
1. Chapter 1

"Merlin!"

His name reverberated off the walls of the hallway. He tried to convince himself the chill he got was from the draft and headed towards his prince's room. He entered and stopped; Arthur was shirtless and kneeling on the floor looking under the bed. "Lord and lady." He cursed softly. Arthur looked over his shoulder a moment.

"There you are! Find my other boot. It's missing."

Merlin snapped out of his trance quickly. He located Arthur's other boot under the giant pile of cloths Arthur had deemed unwearable today, and Gwen delivered his lunch. He smiled broadly at her and she left. Then he shifted his attention back to Merlin, "Muck out the stables when you- wait, clean the floor. It's filthy." And with that he followed Gwen out the door.

Merlin adored Gwen, as one friend does another, but some days he just wanted to lock her away so Arthur couldn't become more enamored with her. Gwen was a bit infatuated with him herself but she'd told Merlin more than her fair share of times that it was innocent enough and that she would never do anything about it. She justified it by stating that her feelings had nowhere near the depth Merlin's did. It wasn't fair. Arthur saw Merlin only as an idiot and a fool. The latter was truer. He was a fool when it comes to my prince. He just wished only to be recognized by him and to stand beside him, not behind him like all the others. He wanted to show him he was strong, that he could protect Arthur. He had always been protecting him. He didn't need Arthur's love in return, he just wanted to be acknowledged every once in a whileMerlin washed the floor, letting his thoughts drift away from him.

Arthur's birthday was in a few days. Another year come and gone and he'd be another year older… More the man he'd become someday. Not that he don't like Arthur as he is.

He was drawn to him. Not simply because he was the prince, or because of their grand destiny he kept hearing about. No, Arthur was learning kindness and mercy. He was a good man, though not a perfect one, and would be a great king. He did not appreciate Merlin's deeds, but he knew Arthur at least saw him as a friend, whether Arthur liked that or not, whether he admitted it or not… Merlin didn't mind so much. He knew. Now it was just a matter of getting his prince a present. The possibilities were endless. He'd been scrubbing a while when Arthur burst back into his room."

"Merlin! I asked you to muck the stables a half a candle mark ago!"

He rolled his eyes, from his kneeling position on the floor and continued to scrub, "Yes but you stopped me from going because your floor was dirty."

Arthur gave him that, 'do as I say' look. He just looked back over his shoulder at him, exasperated. His expression faltered a bit when he gave Merlin a once over, then he looked around the room. "Your lousy scrub job will have to do. Now go."

"Yes, sire." Merlin stood, stretching and his back popped. When he met Arthur's eyes again it was just in time to see a fleeting look of concern before he went about getting changed. Merlin really never got tired of watching him take off his shirt. With one last look and bow he left for the stables.

Moments like that made Merlin want to hate him. Moments where he knew he was over working his servant and mistreating him and yet he'd let him go on my merry way. Merlin liked to think someday, eventually, he be his court sorcerer and advisor. Oh yes, what a marvelous idea. All will bow before Arthur's military might and him at his side keeping magic at bay. Only Arthur would know. Honestly, he was the only one he wanted to tell more than anything.

When the stable mucking was finally done, Merlin returned to his chambers, grateful for the soft bed that greeted him. Arthur had been called to the great hall for a war meeting then he was meeting dignitaries- and their daughters- for the next few hours. They were here for his birthday celebrations, of course. It gave him time to think on a proper gift. Not a sword or anything like that. Arthur had enough weapons. He could get him a book but the prat wouldn't read it. His mind wandered through the long list of possibilities without reaching a conclusion. Nothing felt right.

He met Arthur outside the hall taking his early gifts from his prince and hauling them to his room. Arthur lead the way as he always did, like Merlin had forgotten the way in the last three hours in which he was absent. "A good haul." Merlin said with a grin. It was true. The pile which Merlin had succeeded in carrying was pretty impressive; a new cloak, hunting knives, three books on war and trade, and several bottles of mead.

"Nothing I don't already have."

Merlin laughed, "True. It is difficult to give you anything you can't get on your own."

"And I never get anything I want. This is why I hate birthdays."

Merlin stopped folding the new cloak. "What you want?"

"Yes, it's always what a prince should want."

"So… You wouldn't mind if I kept one of these." He wiggled his eyebrows at the mead and Arthur glared. "I was joking." Arthur sighed and pulled off his boots. "If you never tell anyone what you really want, how is anyone supposed to get it for you?"

Arthur eyed him, "What are you thinking, Merlin?"

"Nothing… Just that you're the kind of prat who'd wait silently while others would try to guess at what goes on in that head of yours."

"None of those… those imbeciles even care about what I want why should I-?" But Arthur seemed to soften a bit in his rant. "I want something with thought put into it. I want something that means something. Not out of obligation. That isn't so much to ask is it?"

Merlin smiled softly and shook his head, "No sire. That isn't too much at all. I'll leave you then. Good night sire."

It was as if a weight had been lifted, he didn't have to get anything special or rare. Arthur wanted a freely given gift. That he could accomplish with ease. On his way back to his room, he was stopped by a noblemen's daughter. "Could you… Give this to Arthur? On his birthday? I know you are his servant. It is-" She flushed scarlet, handing him a bottle with large curved script, "It is a gift."

Merlin smiled, "Of course." With that he took it and she fled. He read the bottle, curious; To Prince Arthur, I hope this token of my affection warms your heart. With Love, Lady Selene. He chuckled, better have Gaius look it over first to be sure.

Gaius was not amused, "Lady Selene? You're sure?"

"Yes, she was the blonde with the purple dress. Why?"

"This is a wine laced with potion! A truth potion! Ones every opinion is laid to bear. It's an unbearably weak one, but it is good you brought it to me. We don't need the prince rattling on about his opinions." Merlin looked at the bottle with a sigh. In Gaius' experimenting, the label had been peeled away a bit.

"Yes, I should not have liked to have been on the receiving end of that bit of truth. Not that he doesn't do it every day."

Gaius chuckled. "The potion would have only lasted a couple hours if he drank the whole thing."

"But your right a truthful prince would cause havoc. I'll keep an eye on Selene while she's here."

Gaius patted him on the back. "That's a lad. I'm sure it was an innocent enough gesture but still worth being weary. Best not tell the prince." Merlin could only nod in agreement.

However the next day after breakfast, which Arthur spent with their guests Arthur looked a bit unhappy. "Merlin?"

"Yes, my lord?" He asked as he hung up Arthur's clothes.

"Why is it when Lady Selene asked if I enjoyed her present I was unable to recall receiving one from her?"

"Because she didn't give you one, sire."

"That's not what she said. She says she gave it to you." Arthur's arms were crossed over his chest as his eyes glared, Merlin rolled his eyes. "This isn't a joke, Merlin! Lady Selene's father is a powerful man AND she says it was some of Tortiga's finest wine! If I find you've horded it for yourself-"

"I haven't! I'm having Gaius okay it first, alright? Is that so terrible?"

Arthur squinted at him, "Why would you do that?"

"Because it'd be easy to lace wine with poison." He stated in his most matter of fact voice.

Arthur studied him and a soft smile twitched at the corners of his mouth, "Well… Thank you then. I guess if you were only having Gaius check it, I can't be mad at you. Not when you're only looking out for my welfare."

Merlin blushed and glared at him. "I was DOING my job." Arthur shook his head. "Anyway, shouldn't you be getting ready for the banquet tonight? There is plenty for you to do before then."

"Who do you think you are? My nursemaid?"

"Some days it really does feel like it."

Arthur clapped him on the shoulder a little more rough then necessary.


	2. Chapter 2

AUTHORS NOTE: Don't hate me.

Every woman in Camelot fancied a dance with him. Even Morgana seemed to be genuinely happy for the prince, though she wore her mask well as she sat with Uther. For a woman plotting their deaths, she can be very affectionate. He watched from the side lines as always with a little cloth pouch tucked safely away for later. Arthur spun Gwen around the floor with a long bout of laughter. Arthur met his eyes then and he smiled as the prince switched to one of the kitchen staff ladies. Merlin watched him swish back goblet full after goblet full and grew anxious. He had to reassure himself Arthur would like my present, as he was bestowed with more and more lavish gifts; the last of which being a ring with the Pendragon crest from his father. Arthur beamed at that and watching them made him feel as if he glowed. It was then that Arthur started forcing drinks upon his servant. Not such a good idea when Merlin only had to sniff the air in a tavern before he was tipsy.

When Merlin finally helped Arthur stumble away they only made it to Gaius' chambers. Gaius was away helping a sick woman at her home. He deposited Arthur on a sick bed "You're a good servant, Merlin! Good." Arthur patted me on the head, sleepily. "Get me more wine!"

"Sire, I have a present for you." He whispered as to not stir the headache he knew was creeping its way into his skull.

"Wine first! One bottle for me and one for you!" Merlin staggered over to the place he knew Gaius kept the wine, grabbing two without much thought. He sat back down and handed the prince the bottle.

"Now what have you got for me? What could you possibly have for me that I couldn't get any day of the year?"

He shook his head and pulled out the pouch, emptying the contents into his hand a small disc, "Well, it isn't much but I thought it would do." He stared at it then back at Merlin. "It's a compass that points toward Camelot. That way you'll always be able to find your way back."

Arthur stared at it. "Is it magic?"

"No sire, it is science. At least… According to Gaius" Arthur starred at it almost as if he were entranced and it was long enough for Merlin to second guess giving it to him. "If you don't want it-"

"NO!" He hadn't expected such an outburst. Arthur snatched for it and calmed down considerably, "No…" He put it around his neck and rolled it between his fingers. "I… Thank you, Merlin. You didn't-." Arthur sounded almost humble then and Merlin couldn't think of anything to say. He had not expected him to be so fond of it. "And to think I got you nothing for your birthday… When is your birthday?" He looked truly sorry.

"It was in October." Arthur cringed. "Don't fret, sire. I understand."

"How is it you always understand, when I do not? I… I am not a good friend to you… Do you think it is because I'm a prince?"

He laughed opening the wine bottle he had and taking several long swigs before answering, "I KNOW it's because you're a prince." Strangely, he had somehow managed to empty the bottle.

He nuzzled into the pillow, "Then I wish I wasn't one." He mumbled soft and low. Merlin's chest tightened a bit and he pulled the covers up to his shoulder as he drifted off.

"Happy birthday, Arthur." Only when he was drunk, only when he was tired, only when Merlin hadn't done something stupid, did he ever say such kind things. That was fine though, because they would be no less true when he woke up in the afternoon.

Even if he yelled, grumpily, for me to bring a hangover cure from Gaius.

Merlin felt strange upon waking. He was asleep at the table and Arthur was up, reading bottle labels. "Merlin! What does the hang over remedy look like?"

"Tiny blue vile next to the dragon root."

Arthur sighed, sitting down at the table, "Quite a party last night."

"I enjoyed most of it. Not so much your constant flirtation with ever skirt that passed you by, but otherwise enjoyable."

Arthur's eyebrows shot up and Merlin's brow furrowed in confusion. Had he meant to say that?

Arthur shook his head as if to clear it. "Well what did you enjoy most then?"

"When you got the ring from your father, I don't think you've ever looked so happy."

Arthur's eyebrows remained elevated, "Well, it was a… Happy moment. The ring means a lot to me seeing as it's been in my family since its beginning."

"I know that, Arthur. I can read."

"Good to hear." Arthur chuckled, "Well, I'm sorry I had you drink so much. I forgot how easy you get drunk. Not sure why you put up with me… That's not true, I know why."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I am your prince and master. You have to put up with me."

Merin laughed, "I can't believe you honestly think that's the only reason I put up with you."

One of Arthur's eyebrows returned to its normal position, while the other remained aloft. He had spotted the bottle at Merlin's elbow. "You drank Lady Selene's gift to me?" Merlin's eyes snapped to it.

Suddenly he couldn't stop the words, and they all rushed out at once. "It was laced with a truth potion. That's why I didn't give it back to you. I must have grabbed it in a drunken state and now I've got to tell the truth." Merlin clapped his hands over his mouth as Arthur set his eyes in a glare. This could not end well.

"Protecting someone who tried to use witchcraft against me?"

"I don't think she meant you any harm. I don't think she knew about it at all. If I thought she did I won't have kept it from you, now would I?"

"Have you any idea how dangerous magic is?"

"I had it under control."

"This was a direct attack on my person by the forces of magic! You're acting rather calm about it!"

"It wasn't even that powerful a truth potion! It would have lasted for only a day or so."

"So you'll be like this all day?"

"No. My magic should have it out of my system in a matter of hours. And since I drank it before I slept I should say I'm on the back end of the potions affects."

"Your magic?" Arthur paled so terribly he thought the prince might pass out.

merlin scrambled for an explaination. "I am but I don't mean you or Uther any harm! I've been trying to protect you!"

Arthur's mouth opened like a fish gasping for air. Before he finally set on something to say, "You didn't tell me."

"Is that really that much of a shock?"

"A little, yes! -I guess it explains a great deal- But you still lied to me!"

Merlin frowned, "I only did it so I wouldn't be beheaded. I'm loyal to you and I'm loyal to Camelot. What more do I need to explain beyond that? If I was going to betray you I probably would have done it when I first got here and saw that sorcerer beheaded; before the dragon let me in on our grand destiny and before I ever fell in love with you." Merlin's hands slapped across his mouth once more. Arthur stared at him.

"What?"

"I love you." Why did his hands and mouth keep betraying him? Merlin truly wished he could crawl in a hole and die. Or perhaps cry all the water from his body. He was dead. Totally dead. Arthur continued his blank stare for another minute. His face was devoid of any expression at all and Merlin just wanted to die right then and there. "Sire, I-" But before he could say any more Arthur stood and walked out. "Arthur!"

His mind and heart raced with the possibilities of what that reaction meant. It couldn't have been good. He was dead, so dead, completely dead. Even if he wasn't, to face his prince again would be… He couldn't bear that. He had to leave, clear his head. He grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote a Gaius. He'd stop by and say goodbye to Gwen. He'd go home to his mother for a bit and have Gaius write him if Arthur ever relented. He debated writing Arthur but he couldn't even find words.

When he found Gwen he was close to tears. "Merlin! You look terrible!"

"Have you… seen Arthur?" His throat cracked a bit.

"He was eating with his father in the main hall. A bit distracted."

"I…" He shook his head with a rueful smile. "I can't believe it. He's just sitting there you say?"

"Yes. Looked distracted, but he's probably just a bit hung over after his party."

Merlin shook his head, "No. No I told him I love him. And that I-" He almost sobbed, as he checked the hallway and leaned in to whisper. "And that I'm a sorcerer."

She gasped, "REALLY!" He only nodded. Gwen hugged him. "Oh honey, it's alright. I mean, Arthur hasn't told Uther about it. Maybe he'll be alright after a couple of days. He must just be in shock." She rubbed his back, trying to calm him. "Maybe… You should go visit your mum. You a- who'd have thought- I- wait… You healed my father during the sickness, didn't you?" Merlin was nodding. She hugged him tighter, "You've been watching over Arthur this whole time. I knew it… Some how, I think I always knew."

"I came… to say goodbye." She nodded, smoothing the front of his shirt. If he had had a sister, he'd want her to be as caring as Gwen. "Tell Arthur- tell him I'm sorry."

"For?" Merlin tried to answer but his voice cracked, and he tried to think. He didn't know. Gwen, however, seemed to understand, "I'll be seeing you, Merlin."

Merlin couldn't answer as he left the castle. He hoped she was right.


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur awoke in his bed, two days after his birthday celebration. The day before was strangely hazy. He looked around and his breakfast was already there. He ate it absentmindedly and got dressed. As he was pulling on his coat, Gwen arrived and took the tray, "Where is the layabout? Can't be still hungover."

Gwen froze not turning back to Arthur. "Sire… He's-"

"Guinevere." She slowly turned, looking as if she'd been caught. "Where is Merlin?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. "He's- you see- After yesterday he- Oh sire he was so frightened-"

But Arthur wasn't listening as he stormed past her. The servants in the hallway all ducked out of the way. It was as if they feared what Arthur might do if they stood in his way. He paid them no mind as he banged on Gaius' door. "MERLIN!" When no one answered he opened it, and trudged across the room to Merlin's door. It wasn't open and he banged on it as he had the door to Gaius' quarters. "MERLIN you will get out here this instant. That's an order!" But nothing stirred on the other side. He growled and backed up, ramming into the door with all his strength. The lock gave way and he charged into the room. But there was no one there. "Merlin?" He said it as if he were confused. Merlin should have been there cowering in a corner like the idiot he was. Not… Not there.

It was'nt like he was even all that angry with him.

It was then he realized that he hadn't even thought about turning Merlin in. Perhaps storming out and avoiding him the whole day hadn't gotten his point across that he was angry but not murderously so. And about Merlin's… Feelings. Well it didn't have to ruin the way things were. Lots of people found him attractive, they got over it. He didn't have to leave. Arthur glared at the empty room. "Fine, Merlin. You'll be back. They always come back." With that he turned and left his servant's room.

But as the days wore on, Arthur found himself checking in with Gaius every day. The old physician took these visits in stride. A boy from the kitchens had taken up Merlin's old duties.

Arthur wasn't going to turn Merlin in. Merlin; a sorcerer. He was willing to forgive him something he couldn't forgive of Gwen… Or anyone. Arthur went about his duties as normal; reviewing reports, attending his father's meetings, training, etcetera. His mind was kept busy. Yet if anyone could see his summary of the reports, Arthur was slowly missing things. He drifted off in meetings, and was distracted at training. Severely distracted.

"Sire, are you sure alright?" Sir Kaye, a new knight from the country, asked standing over Arthur. It was the third sparring match he'd lost that day.

"Yes! Something wrong, Arthur?" Said a near gleeful voice from the sidelines.

The prince flinched and stood, brushing himself off. "No, Morgana. Nothing is wrong, just an off practice. Kaye keeps getting better by the day." The other knights shied away as she came close.

Morgana started chuckling. "You should hurry up and apologize to Merlin. This is getting ridiculous."

Arthur gaped at her, "What? Who said-?"

She shook her head, smiling gently. "Look Arthur, you don't have many friends. Don't screw up things with the one person who likes you despite you being a spoiled prat."

"Morgana! You deal with your servants your way and I'll deal with mine."

Arthur went back for another round with the young knight and he did his best to block Sir Kaye's blows. But it was obvious to anyone he was distracted. As he was finally about to win a round, he looked to the side lines when he thought he saw a head of unruly brown hair. Sir Kaye knocked him on his ass. "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" He screamed at the heavens. Sir Kaye ran away, poor lad. The other knights scattered, leaving Arthur alone.

He threw his armor down on the floor of his room. "That damn, idiot. I can't-" He groaned and rested his head against the post of his bed. "I'm a busy man!" he yelled to the empty chamber. He sat down at his desk to get back to writing up reports. But instead he stared at the parchment for a few minutes. Checking one more time wouldn't hurt. He stood and made his way down to Gaius' rooms one more time and was most definitely was not pouting along the way.

"- Ya, he was attacked by a beast while traveling home, poor lad. I always liked him. Though he did always seem a bit dimwitted."

Arthur stopped the servant girls and demanded they tell him who they were talking about. When the poor girls said it was a boy named Tory, he yelled that they should be more specific when discussing dimwits. Gwen passed by and stopped him. "Now there is no need to snap at them. I know you're worried but Merlin-"

"I am NOT worried! Do you hear me Guinevere? NOT!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Well, if you're so NOT worried, why are you getting so upset?"

Arthur gaped at her before he mumbled to the floor. "I'm not upset."

"You are. He went home for a bit because he thought you'd be angry." She chuckled and shook her head, "He'd be ecstatic to know your falling to pieces."

"I'm not falling to pieces. Do not make me sound like such a girl."

She smiled fondly at him, "I'm sure he'll be home soon. Stop worrying and stop pouting."

"Prince's do not pout."

"Then I must have been mistaken. Would you like to go check together?" She asked patiently.

He kicked at the ground a little before nodding and they went down the stairs.

They finally made it to Gauis' chambers and found the old man was staring sourly at a piece of sealed parchment. "Before you ask, he's not here. But this came for you… this is Merlin's writing." Arthur quickly snatched the paper from the physician's hands and tearing it open. Sure enough there was a letter in Merlin's excessively loopy and tiny handwriting. It was all crammed together and several parts were crossed out.

_Dear Arthur,_

_I am sure by now you have noticed my absence and are vexed with me. But really, you were either going to sack me or behead me anyway so really this should be expected. Moving on, this is my last piece of parchment so please forgive me for the corrections. Please forgive me forgive me forgive me If you are still angry I did not tell you I am a sorcerer I am sorry for not telling you. Please do not see it as a betrayal of your trust. I would have never let harm come to you if I could help it. I kept it from you mostly because I did not want to ask you to choose between keeping my secret and your duty to your father. It is the same reason I am leaving now. I am not sure where I will end up. I am not at my mother's and I did not tell her where I was going, so please do not bother her. I miss you. I'm sorry, don't try and find me. Please don't hat You will be a great King someday. Maybe then I'll return. I'd like to see it- you on the throne, surrounded by subjects that love and respect you. I know you can do it. I always have. You will be kind and just and wonderful. Know this, wherever I am, whatever becomes of me; I am yours, happily and proudly, until the day I die. I love you I love you I love I love you, Arthur Pendragon. The thought of leaving without saying goodbye was too much for me to bear…_

_Goodbye._

_Sincerely,_

_Merlin._

_PS. Don't be a prat_

Gwen stared at Arthur expectantly, "Well?"

Arthur was gripping the paper more roughly then was probably necessary, "That… IDIOT! I'll have him burned at the stake for this madness! Goodbye? No one says goodbye unless I say so! How could he just leave me like this?" He stared at the paper then and Gaius and Gwen exchanged curious looks. "Oh, I'll find you, Merlin. And then you will scrub this castle from top to bottom. I hope the dragon in the basement eats you." With that he crumbled up the paper and started for the door. "Gwen? Could you have someone prepare my horse? I'm going hunting."


	4. Chapter 4

All Arthur had to do was convince his father.

"The beast has since killed ten people. Only attacking travelers in small groups or alone. With the recent unrest caused by the latest tax increase, I believe seeing to the matter personally would restore faith in the crown." Arthur new he almost had his father after that statement. He wished he had more to say. One more key factor and the old man would cave. Before he could go on about it also promoting travel once more along the roads east- his weakest selling point but it was still a point- Uther looked to Gaius. The older man looked at Arthur, before nodding to the King. Arthur could have hugged the physician as Uther shook his head and smiled.

"You amaze me with your insight sometimes Arthur. One would think you are ten years older with three wars under your belt."

Arthur tried not to grin with glee. "Thank you, father. I shall return when the beast is slain and send you reports when I can."

"Take Merlin with you. No reason for you to go servantless for a week or two."

Arthur did not allow himself to flinch. "He is visiting his mother in Ealder, she is sick and I've allowed him to visit. He left just before the attacks started. A caravan has brought a letter stating he made it safely. I shall most likely retrieve him first before looking for the creature." A half truth. He would retrieve Merlin first. Oh yes, and then his ungrateful servant would pay. Might feed him to the beast for his insolence.

Uther nodded, "Well you cannot go alone. I will arrange for a servant to accompany you." Arthur bowed and everyone began to leave to prepare for midday meal.

Gaius stopped him just outside the hall. "The compass he gave you points to home, wherever that may be." With that he wondered down the hall after Uther, leaving Arthur puzzled.

* * *

Gwen sat on Merlin's usual horse Penelope, looking far too pleased as they rode away from Camelot. It had been a few hours and Arthur was grumpily staring ahead, ignoring her. "So where do we start looking for Merlin?"

"His mother's."

"But he said in the letter-"

"He wouldn't be there. I know, however would Merlin really leave without giving his own mother his general location?" Gwen appeared to ponder that for a moment but Arthur cut her off, "NO. Merlin would tell Hunith something of his whereabouts."

"And why would Hunith tell you that?"

"Because she ADORES me, Gwen. Where have you been?"

She rolled her eyes, "This doesn't sound like a very good plan."

"Well it's the only one I've got! If you think of a better one, please, enlighten me!" His horse whinnied, distressed by his yelling. He stroked her neck and she calmed down a bit.

Gwen chuckled, "You really are a mess."

"I am NOT a mess!"

Gwen trotted in front and stood in his path, "Deny it all you want, miss him. You care about him and without him you can't decide what to have for breakfast. Since you do not know, you do not eat. You haven't slept much either. The guards hear you pacing your room at night. Why can't you just admit it?"

"I can't!"

"Why not? Is it really so hard to admit you care about him?"

"Who said I care about him? Who's to say that any of this means I care? Just because I think about him all the time and cannot function properly without him around and put his welfare before my own does not mean ANYTHING! I am a prince! Princes do not need annoying dimwitted servants. Besides, admitting something like that, knowing nothing could ever happen... Would- in theory... hurt to much."

He the motioned his horse around hers and she quickly followed at a safe distance behind. It had been an hour of riding before Gwen cleared her throat.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's fine."

"I wasn't making fun of you. I know you really care about him… I think it's very sweet." Arthur scuffed at her but she nodded, "It's true. I wish someone cared about me that much."

Arthur laughed, "You don't think I do?"

"You heard I was a sorcerer and threw me in jail."

"That was different. You were-" He stopped, his brow furrowed, "Merlin tried to tell me- all of us- then. He was the one who healed your father."

"Probably." She shrugged.

"Come to think of it… There are a lot of times he- and Will-" Arthur wanted to hit himself. "He's been doing magic under my noise all along."

"He's smarter than you give him credit for. He only does stupid things when it comes to you."

"Then he just runs away!"

"Like you did when he told you?"

"That was-" But just then they heard hoof beats coming their way, and yelling. Lots of yelling.

"Slow down! I beg you, you beautiful creature, please! This hurts!" A horse came into view on the road and it appeared to be dragging a man behind it.

Gwen got off her own horse and stood in the road, "Easy now!" The horse slowed and by the time it got to her it was still. The man did his best to try and untangle himself from the stirrup.

Arthur got off his own horse to help him, "Are you alright?"

"Never better, since you stopped the vile beast." The man sprang to his feet and offered his hand. He was of a lean build, with a round, friendly face. It could be said he was handsome but he had a big goofy grin on his face. "Name is Lanval, at your service."

Arthur studied him, "Lanval? As is SIR Lanval?"

"Aye, so you've heard of me." His grin faltered. "That can't be good."

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "I owe you both a debt of gratitude. I've been dragged all the way here from Hornwood. Borrowed the beast after a bar fight you see. Me and this other man… Draine? Paine? Not important, and this big eared bloke fought off thirteen rouges –"

Arthurs ears perked at that, "Big eared bloke?"

"Aye, right sad he was until Staine got a hold of him… Gwaine! That was his name. Friendly bastard, didn't like me one bit at first. Hates nobles you see. I-"

"You used up half your family's treasury at the Spring Festival last year. Banned from all further celebrations in Camelot."

Lanval blinked at him."My god! Your highness! I- I didn't know it was YOU! I am so sorry you had to see me in this state!"

"Enough of that. Big eared bloke you said. Which way?"

"The bar is back the way I came. I could take you if you like your majesty."

Arthur nodded patiently, "I would like that greatly, thank you… If you assist me in locating him, I might be able to convince my father to let you back to court."

"Aye that is mighty kind of you. Shall we?" He remounted the horse a little wobbly. Gwen got back on Penelope and he got back on…. Damn it how could he remember Merlin's horse but not his own? He was going to skin the bastard alive.

"Alright there, Sire?" Gwen asked softly when he didn't start following.

"I told you I'm fine."

Gwen just smiled like she knew some big secret and kept riding.

* * *

It wasn't long after that they arrived at a tavern. Merlin had fled shortly after the fight with the mysterious Gwaine character. Apparently Gwaine was a regular though and stopped in almost every night- bar fight or no. Thus, Arthur and Lanval ended up sharing a room and Gwen had her own next to theirs. Lanval borrowed some money to buy a few rounds- he did not expect to see that money again- and Gwen agreed to supervise, leaving the prince to his thoughts. Arthur sat up in his room staring at the compass Merlin had given him. He'd bet his life it was actually magic and was curious how it worked. Gaius said it pointed to home. But why? How did it always know where Camelot was? Would it point to Camelot for just any one? But staring at gave him no answers. In fact the only thing staring at it accomplished was he missed him more.

That's right, Arthur MISSED him. And there, staring at his present, he allowed himself the one moment of weakness. His chest felt tight and there was a pressure behind his eyes that he could not get rid of.

"God, I miss him." He stared at the compass as it spun. "Merlin." The compass began to spin faster and faster. He thought of all the times Merlin had made him glad beyond words. When Merlin brought Morgana flowers and he complained he had none, Merlin brought him twice as many. Merlin laughed at his jokes, sometimes because he thought they were funny other times because he thought Arthur was an idiot. His meals were always still hot when Merlin brought them. When he was sick Merlin had taken care of him. He took excellent care of him, sick or no. He always felt safe with him to be his true self. The secret self he kept locked away. He missed that feeling of safety. With Merlin, there was nothing he could not do. The arrow came to a dead stop, no longer pointing in the direction Camelot had been. He picked it up and turned with it in his hand, the compass remained pointing in east. "Things… Just got interesting."


	5. Chapter 5

"I can't believe I'm out here wandering these woods for him!" Arthur proclaimed loudly, throwing his hands in the air. "Bastard is so lucky. No one else in Camelot gets the personal attention of Arthur Pendragon." Arthur had, in his couple hours walking alone, accepted that he may have certain inclinations towards his manservant that were more than platonic. But only just. It wasn't like he was about to burst into a love poem or something. Seriously, he was overly fond of the scarf-wearing clotpole but that would just be obsurd. He had left Lanval to keep an eye out for Merlin, in case his hunch was wrong and had left Gwen to keep an eye on Lanval. The compass was guiding the way. He didn't want to read too much into the change of direction it took.

It was then he heard voices. He ducked out of sight behind a tree.

"You awake?"

"What time is it?" His ears perked. That was Merlin.

"About early afternoon." Arthur peered around the trunk to get a better few. He was about ten meters from their camp/

"How far did we get from those thugs? I can't seem to remember." He saw Merlin sit up. They had camped in a circle of tree, curled up in the roots of the biggest ones. The man he presumed was Gwaine grinned at his servant from the fire. He was about his height but built a little sturdier than Merlin.

"Several of miles. You were plenty useful in the fight back there. I think Lanval took a horse and rode off in the other direction." He passed Merlin the canteen. "You never finished your story."

He shrugged, "I was done."

"You told me you ran. You never said why."

Merlin grinned, "There are reasons… Reasons that could get me killed in Camelot. It's funny because the only reason I am probably not being pursued by the hounds of hell is probably because of the other reason I left." He took a sip from the canteen and passed it back, "I loved a noble I worked for." Gwaine made a face of disgust. And Arthur's throat tightened. "They aren't like most nobles… Okay maybe they were but they were also just and kind. They were my friend and I betrayed their trust in me twice over."

Gwaine shook his head, "So they were going to kill you?" Arthur frowned. That was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

Merlin bit his lip. "I don't know. They walked out without saying anything."

"That's real shat of them then isn't it? Not even giving you a proper answer!" Arthur swallowed; maybe it was right shat of him. "Nerve of some nobles. Bet she's a real stuck up lass too. Turning down a nice young man like yourself, probably because daddy wouldn't approve! If you had some money then maybe they'd have stuck around to answer you."

"I know for a fact it isn't like that."

"Oh really? And how are you so confident this wasn't just noble pride?"

"Because-" Arthur felt his throat constrict. He swallowed again. And Merlin, continued in a shaky voice. "Because he's the prince."

Gwaine frowned, his brow furrowing in the almost grimace. "Oh… When you aim, you aim high my friend. A prince? You've got to be daft."

Merlin shook his head. "Wish I was."

"Well that explains it then… So he really is something then? This prince?"

"He's a prat." Arthur glared. He was NOT a prat.

Gwaine chuckled then clasped Merlin's shoulder. "Aye but he's your prat, ain't he?"

"I wish. He probably hasn't even noticed I'm gone."

"LIES! I bet he's out here looking for you right now."

"Now you're just making fun of me."

Gwaine shook his head, "Never, my friend. If this prince is as noble as you think he is then he is out here wandering the woods looking for you. Ain't that right, Sire!" He called loudly, looking directly at Arthur. He fell backwards out of sight. "Aye, he's found you."

"Oh god, did he hear me?" Merlin said in a loud whisper.

"Doubt it, friend. Let's go get him." In a minute, Gwaine entered his field of vision above him on the ground. "Hello, sire. Tracking us were you?"

Arthur sat up with a groan, "I might have been."

He stuck out his hand and Arthur took it, "Gwaine, nice to meet you."

"Arthur."

Merlin slowly came out from behind the tree, as if afraid of being attacked. He remained behind Gwaine as they talked, staring at the ground. "You come out here to retrieve your servant boy?"

Arthur sighed. "I came back to get Merlin." He looked up at the sound of his name, meeting his eyes for the first time. The relief in them made his heart leapt.

"You did?" He said softly. His blue eyes full of hope. That was a much better picture then the last time he'd seen him.

"Of course I did." He mumbled. "Such an idiot you'd probably be eaten by that beast that's wandering around these parts."

Gwaine blinked, "Beast?"

"Yeah, it's been attacking travelers on the road who travel in small groups."

Gwaine clapped his hands together, "Well let's go kill it then."

Merlin gapped, "Are you mad? We could be eaten!"

Arthur shook his head, "I've got to. It's the excuse I used to come looking for you." Merlin blushed. "Besides you don't need to hold back anymore so I don't see the problem."

Gwaine grinned, "I like this noble of yours." He waggled his eyes brows at the servant, "He's feisty. I'll go get my things then." He then proceeded back to then past their camp, Arthur shook his head.

"Merlin-"

"Is your room getting THAT filthy?" Merlin inquired with a nervous laugh.

"It is actually still pretty tidy."

Merlin looked on the verge of tears, the hope in his eyes becoming desperate. "Why have you come for me? It was so much easier when I thought you hated me."

"My gosh, Merlin, why must you be such a complete girl about things? I come all this way to find you and tell you you can come home and all you can do is mope? Can't we… Talk about this when we get home? Please?"

Merlin studied his face a moment and Arthur shifted self-consciously. He hoped Merlin didn't see the bags under his eyes from the nights he hadn't slept or see that he'd lost some pounds with lack of meals. He hoped Merlin didn't read too much into what he was doing. Arthur didn't think he was ready for that just yet. But Merlin seemed to calm down. He thought maybe it was the 'please' that did it. It really was a magic word. "Alright. But promise I can leave if I can't handle it."

Arthur wanted to tell him no. He wanted to tell him he would chain him up with the dragon before he let him go again. But there was another part that looked in Merlin's eyes and bulked at the misery that would cause. "You have my word, Merlin. I promise."

Merlin smiled. "So, we're to track a beast then?"

"Yes."

"Any idea what kind of beast?

"None."

"Do we know where it is?"

"No."

"Have you brought any other knights with you?"

"Well, Gwen came along and I met that Lanval guy, but that's it."

Merlin chuckled, shaking his head. There'd be time to have their talk later. That gave him time to think of what the hell to say. "Back to the inn then?"

"Are the blokes we fought gone?"

"Yes."

Merlin grinned, "Then I'll just get my things."


	6. Chapter 6

Arthur was severally regretting retrieving Gwen from the tavern. He was regretting even more that he let her ride with Merlin. His only hope was there was a good enough distance between Gwaine and Lanval and the three of them that they could not hear. Arthur however heard her loud whispers perfectly. "He started out alright but, slowly, he became an utter mess without you. He hasn't eaten, hasn't slept much either. The night watch heard his pacing at all hours. His reports to the king have been atrocious. All the while he's denied there was anything wrong-"

"Gwen! Arthur will hear you." Arthur didn't need to turn. He could hear the blush in Merlin's voice.

"And he would simply deny it. But Morgana saw! She knows!"

Arthur did turn this time, "Will you two please keep it down? I am trying to track a beast here."

Lanval and Gwaine laughed from behind them. Perhaps they DID hear Gwen. "And he went mad when he saw your letter-"

"GWEN!" He turned to yell again but he heard a hiss from in front of them and turned. It was a large cat. Larger than any house cat he'd seen. It must have been four feet in meter and a half in length and it was crouched watching them. It eyed Arthur and his party curiously, as if trying to determine whether to pounce on them or not. "What the-" It hissed once more and turned bounding off into the woods. "Follow it."

The creature didn't seem to like that as it weaved and dove through the undergrowth. Arthur nearly lost it several time before he began to realize he was being lead into a mist he slowed looking around. The others were gone and he was alone in the growing fog. "Merlin! Gwen!" He called desperately. "Lanval! Gwaine! Merlin! Damn it. MERLIN!" He heard something fly through the air and felt a slight prick in his neck, before it all went dark.

Arthur awoke with a groan to find himself in a wooden cage. His sword was gone but he turned to find his four companions awakening as he had. He went to Merlin, the closest of them, "You alright. Peachy seeing as have been drugged and thrown in a cage." Arthur couldn't help but grin at him. "How about you?"

The genuine concern in Merlin's eyes softened his grin. When had he leaned in so close anyway? He could see the specks of green in Merlin's eyes. He wet his lips and pulled away a bit. "I'm fine."

Gwaine cleared his throat, "We've got company."

Ten men came and opened the door to the cage, the one at the front. Obviously a knight of some kind stood tall, "You're to have an audience with the queen. But for that, we'll need to tie your hands."

Arthur glared, but the man didn't wither as most did. And there was something unnerving in the green of his eyes. They were too bright. Almost as if they could see through any darkness or charade. "Fine. We will go quietly."

"Asægdnes."

Suddenly they all had their hands tied, and Arthur stepped back, "Magic?"

"We are a fey race, of course we use magic. I'd like to see you get out of those."

Of course they were magic. Who in their right mind attacked a knight of Camelot without it?

They were brought into the fairy camp and to the most extravagant of the tents, the others seemed more concerned with the draping, which seemed more expensive than all of Morgana's wardrobe combined, then the woman before them when they entered. She was dressed as royalty would be; a white dress that clung to her and draped in a white fur the likes of which Arthur had never seen. Her hair was like spun gold, and her eyes were like freshly bloomed violets. He could see the purple satin that lined the underside. Their queen stood, "I know your face golden one. A Pendragon." There was a gasp among her subjects. Merlin shot Arthur a weary look as the guards forced the five of them to kneel. "You come to my domain with not but a handful of peasants? How arrogant."

"I am not a peasant!" Lanval spoke up, finally pulling his eyes from the tent itself. The queen turned to him, and for the briefest moment her cold features seemed frozen in time. Lanval too fell silent.

She tore her eyes away and back to Arthur, "He speaks true. Noble blood runs through his veins. The same can be said for the other man behind you. They both smell of the northern freeze." Then her eyes went to Gwen, who stared back with force, "You are of the lowest birth in your party, but you carry yourself proudly. You know of labor and suffering. Honest work." Then her eyes turned to Merlin and she smiled wickedly, "But look, my subjects! A traitor in our midst." Arthur turned to Merlin who only raised an eyebrow. "Tell me, prince, did you know that in the old religion, your friend here is of blood more noble then any king? He is a Dragonlord. A sorcerer by nature, magic being deeply rooted in the core of his soul." Arthur looked at Merlin desperately, as if his eyes could plead with Merlin NOT to reveal his magical nature to the crazy woman. "Ah, if you knew would you have brought him along, I wonder. Pray tell, why is he of your trusted party if he has hidden this from you? He's betrayed his own kind. How can you be so certain of his loyalty? How do you know he hasn't bewitched you? Put a spell on you to make you blind to his treachery?" Her stare was a challenge to him. One he did not know how to answer. "Answer!"

"I trust Merlin with my life."

"Oh you do." The court around them laughed, "Of course you do. Tell me Arthur Pendragon, what do you do to beings of magic in Camelot?"

He swallowed hard, "We execute them." Merlin flinched next to him. Bugger, was this woman infuriating.

She smiled coldly, "The same punishment for traitors in my kingdom." She then took her sword and cut his bounds with one swipe. She offered him the hilt, something flashing in her eyes, "Stand and take it." He did as told and stood there, confused. "Do your father's will. Execute him. You cannot let hundreds die and one live. There are no exceptions. Magic corrupts the soul, remember? Kill him. If you are truly the son of Uther Pendragon you must. Or I will kill you myself."

Arthur looked at the sword in horror. Then back at the queen. She made no sense, talking like that. "So it is his life or mine?"

"Yes." Her gaze was serious, deadly so.

Arthur looked at Merlin, his blue eyes ready. Why hundreds but not Merlin? Why? She stood waiting for his answer. Everything Merlin said and did was for him. Whatever Merlin had lied to him about, whatever he had done with Arthur knowing. It was for him. Merlin was his. He'd always known it on some level, about Merlin's feelings. Having them out in the open was another story. There was a difference between suspecting and knowing. And under all the prattery and snide comments, a part of him had yearned for it, to stand in the light in Merlin's eyes. He wanted Merlin to love him. What that meant didn't matter at the moment and wouldn't matter if she kept her promise. It hadn't even crossed his mind that maybe Merlin had him under some spell. But that just wasn't Merlin. He couldn't believe that of his servant. "Then I guess it is mine." He dropped the sword at his feet.

She raised her eye brow and snickered, "You lay down your life for a sorcerer."

Arthur stood taller in defiance, "I lay down my life for Merlin. Magic or no, I could not kill him anymore that I could tear out my own heart. I know he'd do the same. He's probably thinking of ways to stop you right now." There was something liberating in saying that. He didn't look to Merlin, though he wanted too. The queen seemed to be looking into his soul at that moment with her piercing purple eyes.

"You are something else, your highness." She looked away at the other four with a smile of surprise, "So the prince has passed." Suddenly the court cheered. "How was my performance? Did you believe I'd kill you?"

Arthur looked to Merlin, who was watching him with a look of awe. He looked away, unable to withstand the swelling of his heart, "Yes, I did actually."

She shook her head, "I hadn't expected you to pass. Now I know not what to do with you all." She turned to another of her knights, "Scudamour, what do you say I do in this situation? He's beaten the challenge to his spirit."

"We cannot let them go free. They know the position of our camp here in the forest."

"Ah, that they do." She looked over the party one more time, eyes lingering briefly on Lanval, "One of you will stay in my kingdom as… insurance that none will attack my people. I will recall my familiar from the outlying lands so she will not attack anymore of your people. You have two days to decide who stays." She then gave a grand gesture to her people, "But tonight we dine! And you shall be our guests." The guards cut their bonds and they stood. Arthur just gave her a confused look. "Yes, prince, my guests. Or shall I tie you all up again?"

"No, that's alright, really."

"You've stumbled into our midst at a good time. Tomorrow we celebrate Callan Mai and I wish you all to be our honored guests."

"Not five minutes ago you wanted to kill us."

The queen rolled her eyes, "It was only a test of character. You passed. One who cares so unconditionally for one of our own could not betray our hospitality. Would you rather I tie you up again until you make your decision?"

"NO!" They all said at once.

The queen grinned, "Then we are clear. Tonight we celebrate the end of Spring, tomorrow the beginning of Summer, and the coming of a new age." With that she left the tent, leaving the five friends utterly confused in her wake.


	7. Chapter 7

They lit candles all around the feasting table. Arthur was suspicious as usual but he didn't know why. Perhaps the way the queen kept watching him, or that Gwaine was overly flirty with ever woman whose skirt brushed to close. No it was most likely the way Merlin fit in so well with the fairy folk. Arthur was watching Merlin discussing spells with a child who claimed to be fifty years old, as he sat at the table awaiting dinner. Many of the folk were beginning to arrive when the queen appeared at his side. "I had lost all hope until you defied me this afternoon."

"All hope?" He asked, not really paying her attention.

"That we would be isolated here forever, condemned until Camelot fell." Her smile was almost friendly, "You have proven to be honorable, Arthur. When the kingdom is yours so will be our allegiance. If you wish it, of course."

"You are still beings of magic. You'll have to forgive me my reluctance."

"I shall. But it is offered none the less." She put a hand on Arthur's shoulder and he looked at her. A sweet smile crossed her face, "The bond you two share is precious… And beautiful to behold for one who can see it." Arthur looked back to Merlin who was changing a leaf into a rock with glee. "It is as you feared, I can see into the hearts of mortals. One mention of your bond and you immediately try to hide. The Dragonlord's magic keeps his heart from my sight, but it doesn't take fairy eyes to see it."

"He is as easily read as a book sometimes."

"I needed to see your response to my challenge. I just wanted to know what kind of king you'll be. And if today was any indication, you'll be one I'd ally with easily."

"Then why must I leave one here? We've all got lives to go back too."

"I must look out for my people. You would do the same to insure your kingdom's security as well." He nodded. Merlin looked his way with a grin. The queen moved away and Merlin walked over to him sitting in the chair next to him.

"Dinner will be soon." Merlin said. Arthur nodded, "What's bothering you?"

"One of us will be left behind tomorrow; I won't be able to convince her to revoke that part of the deal. Escaping is near impossible and also a bad idea. She'll see it as threat to her people and when she does catch us again, she wouldn't let anyone go home."

"What makes you think that?"

Arthur smirked, "Cause it is something I would do."

Merlin shook his head, "Of course." Arthur sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "It can't be you, Arthur. You stuck around a bunch of magic users? You'd go mad."

"I've survived around you long enough." Merlin bit his lip nervously, as if it bothered him to talk about his magic. "Well, don't think you're staying here. You're still my servant, and now that I know why my meals are always warm by the time you get them to me I intend to bring you back." Merlin ducked his head to hide the grin. "Gwen can't stay; Morgana would kill me. Gwaine is… Not of my kingdom and Lanval never took orders well to begin with. So… Who stays?" But just then the trumpets blew and all rose as the queen sat at the head of the table.

"My subjects and honored guests! On this, the last day of spring, I wish you all the best in the coming season, may the crops grow tall and the harvest be bountiful and that the buds of spring bloom more beautifully then any summer before." She raised her goblet and smiled, "To a new beginning!"

The crowd cheered and they drank. Gwaine and Lanval laughed and joked with the fairy folk around them. They seemed to be taking a shine to the fairy people, perhaps because of their generosity with wine. Gwen was quiet and apologetic, unsure how to act around them. But Merlin, he was a natural, as if speaking with them were his first language. It was like something he remembered Gaius saying; Magic draws in magic after all.

* * *

After the feast they were given two tents of their own and a fire just outside them. Merlin slept soundly, as did Gwen in her tent. But Arthur sat awake. Gwaine sat close to Arthur, "Can't sleep?"

"The morning after next we must decide the fate of one of us. Of course I can't sleep."

"Me neither. But… I was thinking. You plan to take him back with you to Camelot?"

Arthur knew exactly who he meant. "That's what I came out here to do."

"I was thinking. You said it yourself, he isn't safe there. You know what Uther will do if he finds out-"

"Only if he finds out. He's been careful so far." Arthur didn't understand where this line of conversation was going.

"Yeah, because he's been lucky. If anyone but you had been around when he had that potion in his system-!" He stopped to calm down a moment. But in that moment Arthur understood. Bringing Merlin back with him would put him in danger. The only way for Merlin to be truly safe was for him to stay away from Camelot… And from Arthur. Disaster seemed to follow him wherever he went.

"I don't know if I can do that. I hear you, believe me I do, but I don't think I can leave him here. He's my... He's my best friend, Gwaine."

"I know you care about him-"

He wrung his hands nervously. "I just-… I needed to see him. I knew it would probably come to him leaving but… I don't know."

Gwaine studied Arthur, but nodded. "He'd be safer here."

Arthur closed his eyes. That hurt. It hurt to hear that leaving Merlin behind, with these people, would be best. They were kin of a kind after all. Merlin once said he didn't fit in anymore in Ealdor. The same was becoming true for Camelot.

"I know you don't like it sire but-"

Just then Lanval stumbled back to camp, "What a party! Have you ever seen anything like this place, beautiful women, good wine, they don't use money! It's brilliant, sire!"

Arthur shook his head, grinning despite his heart breaking, "You're right. It is brilliant. Get to bed."

"Yes, your highness." He crawled into the tent and slept opposite of Merlin. Arthur stretched and heard his back pop in a few places.

Gwaine chuckled, "Go to bed. I hear you haven't slept in an age." Arthur glared. "Excuse me; I believe you should get some rest, my lord."

"I believe I shall." He stood and pushed back the tent flap. There wasn't much space in the tents. The floor was just covered in bedding and a few pillows were tossed about. No matter where he laid he would be uncomfortably close to the two sleeping men. Once Gwaine went to bed there would be absolutely no room. Arthur laid between the two of them doing his best to keep his distance. He faced Merlin, studying the back of his servants head. The thought of Merlin risking himself everyday weighed heavily on him. Merlin muttered something in his sleep and turned to lay on his back, his hands behind his head. Arthur watched Merlin's profile in the limited light. He looked so carefree. Lanval kicked him hard as he turned. Arthur looked over his shoulder but his glare was met only with a loud snore. He couldn't bare the thought of Merlin staying but... But he saw no better choice. His heart ached.

Gwaine lifted the flap then, "Move over a bit… Please… My lord?" Arthur sighed and moved enough to give Gwaine space between him and Lanval, bringing him a good bit closer to Merlin. As the camp fire light began to fade, he let took a deep breath and exhaustion took him. He watched Merlin's chest rise and fall with even breaths. For the first time since the young warlock's departure from Camelot, the prince slept.


	8. Chapter 8

Arthur knew he was awake but didn't want to get up. He was content and happy to sleep a little longer no matter what the time was. He'd dreamed of floating blue lights and language he didn't understand. A deep, soft voice called to him but before he could see who he had awoken a bit. He was just about to fall back to sleep and find who it was when the pillow he was clutching moved slightly. The prince's eyes shot open to find his fingers gripping Merlin's shirt and his head pillowed on his shoulder. Slowly, Arthur tried to move away doing his best not to wake Merlin, only to bump into Gwaine's back. Gwaine lay back to back with Arthur, his hands over his… Tender regions. Sometime during the night, the three of them had shifted away from Lanval, who lay sprawled on the other half of the tent. Careful as to not wake his sleeping companions and alert them to their current predicament, he disengaged himself from them. Heading out of the tent, he found Gwen munching a biscuit and smirking when she saw him.

"Sleep well?"

"I did actually. What time is it?"

"Nearly midday. The queen already sent someone by with food but you all looked SO peaceful, I couldn't bring myself to wake you." She proceeded to giggle mercilessly.

Arthur glared, "Guinevere."

"I am not making fun of you, you know. It isn't funny. It's sweet how much you love him."

"Merlin's the one who said he's in love with me! I never said anything about loving him." Gwen tilted her head as if thinking about that.

"You care about him don't you?"

"I do."

"You've risked your life for him on more than one occasion, you miss him when he's not around, you worry for his safety when he's out of sight, you defy your father and all you've been taught about magic where Merlin is concerned and you'd have chased him to the end of the Earth. You'll always go to rescue Merlin. If that isn't love then I'm a stoat… I am NOT a stoat."

Arthur gapped at her. He hadn't labeled whatever he was feeling as love. That was ridiculous. Merlin was his servant, a commoner… He'd said it before though; Merlin was his best friend. It had always been different from friends he had in the past. Gwen was right about how he treated Merlin. It was different. He wanted Merlin safe; he wanted him far away from his father's grasp. Yet he wanted him close too. He wanted in ear shot at all times, to hear his footsteps in the hall or the other side of his chambers. Because the minute they stopped, he wouldn't know that Merlin was safe. If Merlin was scrubbing his floor he wasn't off trying to be a hero. How was he supposed to keep an eye on him if he was at fairy court?

True was that Merlin could die if he came home. But Arthur might wither away to nothing without him.

Gwen shook her head, "I know you're scared. It's all over your face. Merlin's feelings scare you-"

"Merlin doesn't scare me-"

"Your own feelings then." Arthur cringed. "You're only fighting the inevitable."

"Aren't we all?"

Gwen nodded. "Yes, yes we are."

Someone cleared their throat from between two nearby trees; it was the queen, in a plain light purple dress that matched her eyes. She smiled. "We're building the bonfires. Tonight we celebrate. At dusk we have a spectacle we've been practicing all year. If your friend would like he can put on a few tricks of his own first." She smiled at him and turned to leave when Lanval stumbled out of the tent.

"Anything to ea-!" He stopped when he saw the queen. "Good morning, your highness!" He bowed to her and Arthur raised an eyebrow.

She curtsied, "Good morning, Sir Lanval."

He just grinned at her then before she looked to Arthur, "Sundown." With that she turned and walked away.

Arthur chuckled, "She's beautiful."

Lanval nodded, "Like the ocean."

Gwen snorted. "Lofty goal, the queen of a magical race."

"No loftier than Merlin's goals."

Just then Merlin stepped out of the ten, "What goals?"

Arthur ruffled the sorcerer's hair, "Biggest idiot in existence." It was strange, thinking of Merlin as a sorcerer and still being able to treat him like Merlin. Gwen had some good points in her silly theory. "The queen invited you to partake in some kind of event."

Lanval nodded, "It's a performance. They do magic like performers do somersaults; it's the spectacle they love. Lady Gloriana was telling me about it last night." They all looked to him curiously. "That's her name." Gwen giggled. "What?"

Merlin wasn't paying attention. He bit his lip in thought and Arthur gripped his shoulder, "Merlin?"

"Huh?"

"You alright?"

Merlin broke eye contact first looking off in the direction that the queen departed. "Would you be alright with it, sire?"

Arthur rolled his eyes, "Of course I would, why wouldn't I be?" Merlin did not look convinced. "I'm sure it's an honor to be asked to participate in it."

Lanval grinned, "The highest."

"See?" Arthur clasped Merlin's shoulder. His friend's distress was obvious. "I would like to see it." Arthur wanted to see the magic Merlin possessed. He'd been curious since their reunion, but too afraid to ask. The way Merlin dodged the subject you'd think he was using it to skin puppies or something. Merlin smiled at him sweetly, before grabbing a roll. Arthur smacked the tent flap loudly, "Gwaine! You going sleep the day away or will we have to all this by ourselves." The man was out of the ten and had eaten a roll in a beat. "Better. Want to see Merlin do some magic tricks?" Gwaine nodded. He looked to Gwen and Lanval who also nodded their heads. "Then we are all in agreement!"

Merlin looked surprised but nodded. "Alright, if it means that much too you."

It did. But he couldn't say that. Inside Arthur was trying to fit what he knew of sorcerers to Merlin. He couldn't. Yet he couldn't just rearrange who he thought Merlin was either. If only Merlin would talk about it-

"Honored guests." It was two identical children speaking in an uncanny unison. One carried towels, the other silk clothes. "We are to take you to your spring so that you may bath. Would you all like to go one at a time?" Arthur nodded for them. No need for this to get awkward. "We also have a change of clothes for each of you. One of you please follow us."

They all looked to Arthur, who sighed before nodding to Gwen. "Ladies first." The twins giggled and Gwen followed them.

Gwaine walked over to Arthur and whispered, "Can we really trust them?"

Arthur sighed, "We have too. We don't have a choice."

After their bathes they were each given clothes made by the fairy people. They all looked rather dashing all things considered. The silk really slimmed them. Gwaine had on black and seemed to have taken a shine to the fabric. Gwen's was a deep orange, like the wild flowers on the hill that bloomed every summer. Lanval wore a forest green that matched his eyes. While he, the prince naturally wore the red of the crest of Camelot. Merlin was the last to return from his bath, and Arthur nearly died of shock. He was unaware that Merlin had any muscle under those baggy clothes he wore. However the curves of his arm and legs were more than obvious now in his deep blue fairy garb. He was still slimmer than he was but his awkward boney structure became nearly elegant in the new clothes. NEARLY. Arthur cleared his throat to get the attention of the gawking Gwaine and Gwen. "We're going to be late." He said in his most commanding do-as-I-say voice. Gwaine didn't seem affected by the baritone but Gwen helped drag him along as they walked to the fairies' banquet area. After the feast the show would begin then the celebration would really begin.

"Did the queen say exactly what magic they do in this show?" Merlin asked Lanval.

"Nope. But I hear it's a wonder to behold. Their philosophy on magic is strange. It seems to be both respected but not taken too seriously. I think it only makes sense to them, to be honest. You know, what with the entire population being half mad and all."

Merlin shook his head but Arthur clapped him on the shoulder, "I'm sure you'll do fine." He still remained unconvinced.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin stood alone in the middle of the stage looking anxious. They had eaten merrily with the people and now they all sat on the lawn of a natural amphitheater, the large half moon somehow housing the entire camp. Gloriana approached him, smiling at him. "Alright?" Merlin nodded. She turned back to the crowd, "My people! Today we have a treat! The magic of a dragonlord on display." She turned back to Merlin. "When you're ready." He nodded again. The band started to play an upbeat tempo on their flutes and Arthur leaned forward as Merlin closed his eyes. He was front center, not wanting to miss a single moment and yet still anxious.

Merlin took a deep breath and then, "_Regnian_." Arthur furrowed his brow as Merlin's eyes glowed gold. What? But just as he began to wonder it began to rain on the stage… But not on the audience. Merlin seemed more confident the more soaked he got. He mumbled low in his throat a string of words and the rain froze in mid air. They sat their suspended above the ground for a couple of seconds before Merlin muttered a few more words and they became flower petals. As they fell to the ground, Merlin spun his hands, one over the other causing a wind to suck them all in. He stopped spinning and in his hand was a complete rose. The rose became a blue flame which he spun around his head like he would a mace on a chain. He raised his hand and it shot above their heads. It exploded into a million bubbles of blue light that floated down to the crowd which applauded in delight, as Merlin's eyes turned back to their piercing blue. Arthur caught one in his hand, dumbfounded. In the Forest of Balor he had witnessed such a ball of light. It popped after a few seconds and he looked to Merlin, who was smiling sheepishly. All that had been breath taking. Arthur couldn't stop gaping; Merlin was capable of such… Amazing things. All this time he had not had to face Merlin being a sorcerer. Now, the last remnants of the display floated around them. When he met his friend's eyes he couldn't look away. He was grinning and somehow he couldn't help but return it. A part of him felt terrible, like he was betraying his father. Yet when Merlin joined him on the grass and they watched the fairy folk begin their show, their knees touched and life was alright.

"Well?" Merlin asked in a low whisper, his breath tickling Arthur's ear. He suppressed a shudder and shrugged.

"It was good." That was an underestimation. It was beautiful and glorious and all the bits of Merlin he knew somehow seemed to join together to form the man at his side. Finally, he had the whole picture and it was a masterpiece.

"You didn't freak out?"

"No. I didn't." Merlin looked almost a little disappointed. Arthur whispered back, "It was your light in the cave wasn't it?"

Merlin flushed scarlet but said nothing.

The fairies did a show of similar transformation magic. They danced and flipped, leaving glowing trails in their wake. Fire came from nowhere, the same with leaves and then butterflies. The grand finale was the queen herself, singing an incantation that caused a brilliant pattern to form in the grass of a wide variety of colors. It was then the crowd all began to join in the dance. Soon Arthur himself was pulled in (by Gwen). They laughed and danced as the music picked up faster and faster. He somehow got stopped in the center of the crowd and he watched as they all spun around him. It could have been any celebration in Camelot then. Merlin spun away from the partner he had and pumped into Arthur. "Sorry, sire."

Arthur looked up at him and frowned, "Since when are you taller than me?"

He shrugged, "Since always." Merlin grinned at him. "So what do you think of fairy hospitality?"

Arthur looked around and shook his head, "Everything I thought I knew is wrong."

Merlin nodded, as if considering. "But wrong in a good… growing as a person way."

He glared and punched Merlin's arm, "Shut up." The song ended and the crowd stopped letting out a cheer and they all herded out of the theater. The two followed the crowd out into a glen where two large unlit bonfires stood.

The queen stood on a platform so that she could speak to the crowd. "Everyone! It is time to light the bonfires and cleanse away the old, bringing in the new. Remember, whatever the future holds is not set in stone." She looked directly at Arthur, her purple eyes piercing his heart once more, "It can be forged as we see fit." Gloriana looked away, "So if you may be gifted with a vision of the future given by the eldest trees in the forest that we burn. Do not fear it." She turned to two men with torches on each side of the bonfires. "Light them." The wood caught fire unnaturally fast and the people cheered. They moved together as a wave, passing between them two by two. He saw Gwaine in the crowd offering his arm to Gwen and leading her through. Lanval, with much dramatization, bowed and offered his arm to the queen. She smiled and took it lightly, walking together at even step between the blazes. Arthur looked to the fires then. Strange shapes and shadows danced together and he found it hard to concentrate. His head felt light, his body heavy, yet he still could not make out the images.

Merlin came up next to him grabbing his forearm. "Are you alright, Arthur?"

There was a flash in front of his eyes and suddenly the fires' images made sense, Camelot was burning. Hooded figures descended upon it, staffs in hand, fighting his knights. His father's face white with fear as he grabbed his sword. It was soon. He didn't know how he knew but it was. Uther was losing. He was failing. He was- "No!" Merlin's face came back into view, concern and terror blending together on his face. "Merlin." He whispered. But his friend was pushed out of the way and replaced with the queen.

"And there it is: the tiniest bit of magic blood hidden out of sight. There was always a rumor that the Pendragons had it. The exposure to all this magic at once must have allowed you to see into the bonfires like us."

"Are you saying Arthur is a sorcerer!" Merlin croaked somewhere close by.

"Lord and lady, no! Just that deep in his ancestry there must have been some magic. He'll never have the Gift." She was searching his heart again, "You must choose tonight. I can see it. Something is going to happen at home. Something soon. I cannot keep you longer." Arthur's head was still spinning. No, he needed tonight to say goodbye to Merlin. He needed to find a way to tell him. He wasn't ready.

Lanval stepped out of the crowd. "I'll stay, your highness." Everybody turned to him. He stood a bit taller smiling a little at their shock.

Arthur did his best to sit up, "Lanval-"

"I will be fine, my lord. I like it here. Besides, I never had a place at court anyway." Arthur felt relieved, and then, immediately- and perhaps for the first time in his life- felt guilty for being so selfish. "Don't just sit there, you've got to pack." Merlin helped him up, slinging Arthur's arm around his shoulder.

Gwaine and Gwen stepped out of the crowd, the man coming to help support the prince. Gwen hugged Lanval and followed them back to their camp.

Back at the tent, Merlin sat Arthur down on the bedding, "Are you alright to ride on your own?" Arhut nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose. His vision had stopped swimming and he was regaining his sense of balance. Merlin kneeled beside him and touched his forehead; the cool hands were soothing against his warm brow.

Arthur sighed, speaking gently so no one outside would hear as they busied to pack their things. "It was supposed to be you stay. But I'm glad he volunteered."

Merlin looked taken aback, "What are you talking about?"

"You are my best friend. I cannot ask you to come back with me, knowing the danger you are in every day. You're not safe back home. I can't guaranty my father will never find out what you are. I might not be able to protect you the way these people could. I was supposed to let you go."

He stopped to look at Merlin. The moon was rising and Merlin was watching him the way he always did just before he said something profound. The moonlight lit up the half of his face, the lone eye he could see bore into his soul and once again, Arthur wondered if he had been bewitched. "You'll never have to."

Arthur gulped back a lump that suddenly started in his throat. Was this what it was like? Being so completely loved by someone? He didn't think his heart could take it. "You know exactly what to say to make things harder."

Merlin was searching his face, as if he was looking for an answer to a question he hadn't asked. "Why is it so hard? If you don't need me…"

Arthur moved quickly to wrap his arms around Merlin's neck. He hugged him tight and sighed into Merlin's shoulder. When was the last time he'd been hugged? Merlin had always been trying to hug him and he had never allowed it. Why? "Alright." He was defeated. He never stood a chance. Never. "I guess I am a prat."

Merlin returned his embrace with a chuckle, "Idiot." Arthur nodded. "My place is with you. It's my destiny. That is the funny thing about destiny; you can't escape it. Just when you think you're rid of me and can pass me off to the fairies, Lanval falls for the queen."

"You're the idiot."

Merlin pulled away and stood. "You rest and I'll come get you when we're ready to go." Arthur nodded as he left. Merlin was coming home and he was finally at ease. He felt selfish once more, not even thinking about Camelot's imminent peril. He laid back promising himself only a few minutes rest.


	10. Chapter 10

Arthur awoke when Gwaine was grabbing the bags from their tent. There was a faint gray over everything that meant dawn was coming. He was thinking of going back to sleep when he heard a low hushed voice coming through the ten, "… So Uther turned his inner hatred outward to magic. I pity him more than anything else." That was Merlin. Pitied his father? How could Merlin pity him?

"I can't believe you lied to him. Why would you-?" The queen seemed at a loss for words.

"Uther is just a sad mourning man with a lot of power but… He loves his son, more than anything. Killing Uther would have broken Arthur's heart. He must never find out the truth about his mother."

His… Mother?

"So he was born from magic. That explains it all. It's so deeply enrooted in him-"

"That he reacts quite strongly to it. I think it was easier to take me being a sorcerer because he sensed it on one level or another."

"Magic is drawn to magic after all. It finds it, even in the darkest of places." Arthur understood; it was true. His father had forced his birth with magic. Merlin told him it was a lie to protect him. It set anger in him despite it. "Is it painful, carrying all these burdens on your own?"

"Painful? Well, it isn't easy. But yeah, I guess it is a little painful."

"But you stay with him."

"It makes more sense from my side, believe me."

"No, I mean. I envy you. To love him so much. It takes a lot of strength."

"Well, I certainly wasn't keeping him alive all this time because I had nothing better to do with my time."

Arthur smiled, as the anger vanished as quickly as it came. "Keep your chin up, Merlin. He'll figure it out soon enough."

"What?.. I don't understand."

"Go wake him. It's time you were all heading out anyway."

Arthur immediately closed his eyes as there was a shuffling around to the front of the tent. He heard the tent flap fall back into place. "Arthur." It was a whisper he pretended not to hear. "Arthur, it's time to wake up." He grunted and turned over simply to be difficult. "Arthur." Merlin reached out and shook his shoulder. The place where he touched his arm grew warm under his fingers and he couldn't help it. He turned back over and looked him in the eyes. Merlin smiled gently, "Our horses are ready."

He groaned, "Alright." He sat up and the tent spun. "Whoa."

Merlin steadied his shoulder, looking him over, "You alright to ride?"

He nodded and stood, using Merlin's shoulder to steady him. "You don't have to nursemaid me, Merlin."

Merlin shook his head. "I can't help being concerned. Normal people aren't supposed to have powerful visions of the future."

"I am aware of that."

Merlin was studying him. He never realized how much Merlin worried about him before. Not really. Arthur walked out of the tent with Merlin close behind to make sure he was steady on his feet. When they didn't give out from under the prince, he visibly relaxed and helped him on his horse. The queen patted the neck of his horse as she stood among them. "I hope you count us among your friends Arthur Pendragon. If you should need us, all you have to do is call." She held up a small wooden flute. "Just a whistle." Arthur nodded and turned his horse to follow their guide out of the forest.

They arrived at the gates of Camelot at Dawn. Arthur could only just keep his eyes open, and stumbled as he dismounted. The ride had drained what little energy he had from his nap in the tent. Merlin caught him just as his father exited the castle and he pulled away quickly. Merlin looked a bit hurt until he noticed Uther. "SON! I take it the beast has been slain!"

"The beast will not cause any more harm."

Uther gave Merlin a side long glance, "And you've retrieved Merlin." He turned to Merlin with a appraising eye. "Has your mother's health been restored?"

Merlin nodded, "Yes, sire. She once again in good health. I would have come home sooner but Arthur insisted I not return until she was." Uther nodded. Arthur rolled his eyes but Merlin looked appreciative.

The king clapped Merlin on the shoulder, suddenly, "You look after my son well, boy! Even if you're sometimes… Unmanageable." Arthur stared at his father. "What?"

"Father, are you not well?"

"I'm fine, Arthur."

"Are you-?"

"Sire!"

But as Arthur moved to his father from the horse he nearly fell forward. Merlin just barely caught him. Uther looked from Merlin to Arthur, and then just stared at Merlin. "Sire. I know that Arthur needs to write out his report to you on this mission, but perhaps… The report could wait."

"Let go, Merlin… I'm not a child. I don't need a nursemaid." He yawned.

Uther shook his head, "I'll help you take him to his chamber. He is my son, and he has done well for our kingdom." Merlin bit back a grin and Arthur sighed. His legs never use to be this heavy.

By the time they got back to his room he was nearly asleep. Merlin took off his armor and tucked him into bed. Arthur tried to keep a hold of his sleeve to keep him there. However his father beckoned him to the door and his servant disappeared behind it. There whispers however still echoed faintly through his room. "He hasn't slept, you know."

"Sire?"

"His… Reports have been sloppy. He's been clumsy. Then this business with the beast. He's just acting… You're close to him, what would have caused such a change?"

Arthur snorted, sleepily. His father could be perceptive sometimes.

"No, sire. He was fine before I left."

There was a longer pause then Arthur liked. He knew he should sleep but he wanted to know what they were talking about. He was quite the eavesdropper today.

"You?" What a dangerous question that was. The huge change in his son's patterns was due to Merlin? He was probably fighting to keep his heart from stopping.

"I-… I don't understand."

Another long pause. "I know you care for my son. I'm…Glad. He will need someone like that when he is king. He never used to smile so much. I'm grateful; even if it's only because you're-" Arthur snorted softly. His father had been about to call him an idiot. "Don't glare at me. You're not exactly thrilled about me, now are you? If I were to die-"

"If anything were to happen to you it would break Arthur's heart." The firmness in Merlin's voice scared him a little.

"So now my boy's heart is you're concern?"

More silence. Then, "Yes. It is."

"Give it up. All boys go through this phase. Arthur is to be King. He will need an heir, and a queen to produce one." He heard the king sigh, disgruntled. With that he heard his father's boots click on the stone down the hall before the door reopened and he pretended to be asleep. Merlin didn't move from his spot though. Uther knew how Merlin felt; it hadn't helped that he'd practically declared it.

Merlin's footstep came closer an Arthur forced his eyes open, "Merlin?" He sighed out. His friend's face was shadowed but his outline grew closer.

"You should get to bed."

"I know. But the attack Merlin-"

"I would never let anything happen to Uther. I promise you that."

"That's what worries me. How are you going to protect him without using magic?"

"I've gotten better with a sword, you know. And I've got a extra set of eyes now with Gwaine hanging around."

"It's his eyes that worry me." Merlin shook his head, "Have you seen the way he looks at you?"

That got him a laugh, "Am I detecting jealous?"

"I can't promise you anything. He could give everything I can't and steal you away. And you heard my father… Heirs and… Queens." His eyes drifted shut and a cool hand stroked his hair.

"I only ask that I stay by your side."Arthur nodded as he drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I just wanted to thank you all because as of-… Sometime in the recent past, this story became my most favorited story ever. It was already my most alerted by a landslide and it's working its way up in hits and reviews as well. Another chapter or two and whoosh, I can see it surpassing Of Knights and Maidens AND Zara. Which honestly I do not think either is anywhere as good as this.

Arthur awoke unaware of the time and clutching his compass, but with the feeling he should get up. He sat upright and stretched, finally feeling rested. Someone knocked lightly and he jumped a little as the door opened. Merlin appeared with a tray at the door. He had to suppress a grin at the normalcy of it all. Merlin didn't seem prepared to see him awake. "Good morning, sunshine. You're up?"

"Only just." He yawned. "You knocked? Since when do you knock?"

Merlin shrugged, "You feeling better?" He asked as he placed the tray on his table. It was topped with plenty of food.

"Loads, I slept well."

"I should hope so. You've been out for two days."

"What?"

"Calm down. It's not that shocking. You were sleep deprived before leaving Camelot; you were drained by that vision. I'm surprised you're awake today even."

Arthur looked from the tray to Merlin, raising an eyebrow, "So breakfast is for..?"

"It was just in case… I had a feeling you would be awake."

"Is that a feeling you get often?"

"No?"

Arthur watched him curiously but didn't say anything more on it. "How has my father been?"

"Concerned but hopeful, grateful but disapproving. Don't think he likes me or trusts me at all."

"He suspects you. Not for what he should but he does." Merlin was making him increasingly more uncomfortable. He was proper and standing with his hands behind his back just inside the door, obviously waiting for a dismissal.

"You're room is in pristine condition considering Gwen says no one but her was allowed in here for a large bit of my absence."

"I can clean things myself, you know. I'm a prince, not invalid."

Merlin grinned, "Well sire, you had me fooled. You know I'll want you to be more lax on the cleaning now, don't you?"

Arthur looked around as if he expected someone to be there. When he found no one he sighed, "Are you alright, Merlin?"

"I'm fine."

"You aren't acting fine."

"How do you suppose I should act then to illustrate that I am fine?"

"Like you?"

"And how do I act?"

"Not-!... Not like this." He ended picking at a thread on his blanket. What was he? Four?

"Shall I inform Uther you're awake, sire?"

All Arthur could do was nod. Merlin walked out quickly, not even looking back. For some reason Arthur almost wanted to cry. Arthur Pendragon never cries.

It was only a few minutes until his father and Gaius burst in the door with Merlin hanging by the exit. Gaius checked him over, declaring him fit for duty once more. His father smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "A little beast hunting won't keep my son down." His father did not look well though. "Take it easy today. I expect you back to your full duties tomorrow."

"Yes, father." Uther patted his sons shoulder and left the room, with Gaius in tow. Merlin turned to leave as well. "Merlin."

He stopped, looking back. "Yes, sire?"

"Has there been any trouble?"

Merlin shook his head, "No. Not even a bit. It's suspicious."

"Damn." Arthur got up and walked to his window. He could see most of the city from it.

"Arthur?" Merlin was finally more than two feet in his room but it didn't matter right then.

"He's my father, Merlin. Even after… Everything. Everything he's done. He is my father." Arthur looked at him, his eyes pleading with him. "I can't lose him."

Merlin gave him a sad, knowing smile. "I know that."

"I hate asking you to help protect someone who would have you dead."

"You don't need to."

"Have you thought about it? Letting him just die. And don't lie. I'll know."

"I have." He said it with no hesitation but Arthur wasn't surprised. "On several occasions actually. But somehow I always manage to be a bigger person than most… I guess I –begrudgingly- understand."

"Because you know about my mother?" Merlin's eyes went wide and he froze like a caught deer. "You stopped me from killing him, even though he is guilty."

"He is blind. Grief… Does things to people. It does not excuse his actions but I can… Sympathize a little. I turned to Nimueh in an hour of need too and things did not go as planned."

"What?"

Merlin suddenly looked like he regretted that last statement. "When the Questing beast came… I was supposed to give my life for yours. A life must be paid to save another. It tried to take my mother."

"What?"

"Long story. Short version is I nearly lost someone very dear to me, if I had not been any quicker I would have lost her. Uther did not understand what kind of bargain he was making. He heard Nimueh but did not realize how it would all end. He paid a dear price. It drove him mad. I couldn't let you kill him. Not when I almost made the same mistake." Merlin toed the ground sheepishly, "And I, quite selfishly, am happy you exist."

Arthur blushed and looked away.

"I am not justifying his actions. I merely… Understand them."

"You may be the only one." Arthur looked at Merlin, as if staring at him long enough would help him know what was going on behind those eyes. "If you can find it in your heart to have pity for him… So shall I, I suppose."

"Don't kid yourself; you still love your father."

Arthur sighed and nodded. Of course he did. "So what was that, 'born of magic' nonsense you and the queen were talking about? I'm sensitive to it?"

Merlin scowled, "Eavesdropping is rude you know… But yeah, it's the only explanation I have for it. You've always been suspect of me. And magic attracts magic."

"You're insufferable."

"It's the only lead I've got to your sudden prophetic powers."

Arthur glared. "You're a bad influence."

Merlin grinned, "The best kind of bad influence." Arthur couldn't hold back his own smile. This was the Merlin he knew. It lightened his heart to see him joking. "So, are you going to greet the day or stay in your bed clothes til noon?"

"Bed clothes til noon." Arthur went over to his bed and flopped down onto it. "I missed this bed."

"You slept for two days."

"Don't care." He sat and fiddled with his compass some.

"Shame. I could have pointed us home with that."

"It wouldn't have pointed to Camelot."

"What?"

"Trust me on this one. It points to whatever's home for you." Merlin raised an eyebrow, "Umm… It pointed north for Lanval. It probable would point east for you."

"True."

Arthur got comfortable on his bed. "Tell me about the time you were gone. What'd you do?"

"Drank a lot."

"AND?"

"I don't know? Don't remember much else."

"I don't think I've ever seen you drunk."

"You were drunk at the time."

"Was I?"

"Yes. You wished you weren't a prince so you could be a better friend to me."

"That doesn't sound like me at all."

"You are much more sentimental when drunk." Merlin grinned. "And much more honest."

"Shut it. I don't think I said that."

"You did!"

"Lies and slander. I demand evidence."

"Then after the impending danger we'll get drunk again and you'll see. You're a sentimental bleeding heart."

"You're on."


	12. Chapter 12

The next few days went by without much issue. Arthur was anxious but fully recovered from his ordeal in the forest. He couldn't stop feeling like there were things lurking in the shadows, and just when he let his guard down they'd emerge, like hulking beasts in the night. He knew what he'd seen would come to pass if he didn't stop it. It didn't help Merlin was so distant- literally. He stayed as far away from Arthur as he could and still perform his duties.

"Really, you've got to stop worrying. Maybe that vision is months from now." Merlin suggested as he helped Arthur put on his jacket.

"No. It isn't. I know it's soon."

"You mean you think it is soon. You can't know."

"I just know." Suddenly the warning bell sounded in the distance. It chimed quickly in panic as guards began to hustle. A few stopped to try and escort him. But he waved them on. Arthur glared at Merlin who shrugged.

"Alright so maybe you did know."

"Come on!" They made their way to the inner keep. They ran into Leon who stopped catching his breath.

"Hood strangers have been fighting their way through the outer defense!" Leon reported. "They wield staffs… and magic. They aren't killing our men but they've set fire to the city. I don't-" he kept panting shaking his head. "I don't understand."

But Arthur knew immediately what they wanted.

"They're after my father."

Merlin groaned, "It is so hard to keep that man alive, you know that?" Leon's eyebrows shot up in surprise at his words but he said nothing. "Where was he last? The great hall?

"No, his chambers." Arthur was already head toward the stairs that lead to his father's wing of the castle with Merlin at his heels.

He found Uther and some of the city's attackers in the hallway, fighting them off with his sword, his one arm was completely limp and he was losing. Arthur rushed forward and barreled into the nearest assailant- knocking them to the ground. Merlin joined the king fighting the rest of his attackers. The hood flew back and Arthur gasped.

"Lanval."

His knight had tears streaming down his face. He was close to sobbing. "Arthur. They have her." He choked out. "Understand, they have her and they'll kill her if we don't-"

"Gloriana. Who has her?"

Lanval's face twisted into a look of pain. "Morgause came. She was too powerful. She- she-"

But before he could finish Uther took a blow to the head, falling to the ground. Merlin stood over him and called out, "_Bordrand._" The blue light Arthur had seen in the cave when he saved Merlin surrounded his servant and father. Their attackers flew back, hitting the wall. "Try and get him! See what happens!"

Merlin's gaze was fierce and steadfast, ready to take on the whole of the faeries force when suddenly another voice called out. "_Wágþeorl_." Merlin's wall faltered a moment as Morgause appeared from thin air, with her arm wrapped around Gloriana's neck and forcing her mouth closed with her hand. "Well, well. The prince's most loyal servant is one of us."

"I am not one of you."

"Why help the one who would see you dead? For your prince? To protect his poor, fragile heart? The man who can love no one but himself?"

"You're wrong. Just because he can never love me does not me he cannot love at all."

"Merlin!" Arthur called. Fear filled his insides like a cold wind, wrapping around him and freezing him in place.

Merlin didn't look back at him, just kept glaring straight ahead. Lanval scrambled to his knees, "Merlin, don't! You'll hit the queen!"

Morgause laughed. "He's right. You wouldn't want to hurt your precious new friend would you?" Merlin growled low in his throat. "_Scyfe!_" Merlin stumbled a bit, and his shield shattered. He put himself between her and the king. Her eyes flashed without her saying a word and so did Merlin's as he deflected an attack that smashed into the wall. Merlin dodged another and repelled one that only grazed Morgause's cheek. She smirked. Her eyes flickered from Arthur to Merlin and she outright grinned. "_Ofstician._"

Merlin's eyes went wide and he moved to protect Arthur without deflecting. There was a sickening sound of someone being stabbed and everyone froze. Arthur watched in slow motion as Merlin fell to his knees clutching his stomach as crimson blood seeped to the floor.

Morgause's cackling echoed off the walls drowning out the distance sound of fighting and screams. Arthur sprang forward to catch his servant before he hit the ground and laid him down. He quickly put pressure on his wound, hoping she missed everything important. While Morgause was distracted Gloriana quickly ripped the hand from her mouth. _"Stice_!" Morgause let go, clutching her hand as it bled out onto the castle floor. Lanval howled and lounged, stabbing the witch through the stomach.

Arthur wasn't paying attention though; he was mopping trembling, mumbling quietly to Merlin. "You'll be alright, Merlin. We'll get you to Gaius and he'll fix you up. Don't you dare do anything stupid alright? Just stay still for a bit. Leon came running up the stairs, "GET GAIUS!" The knight immediately turned around and ran. "See, he'll be on his way soon."

Arthur didn't even notice the faerie people retreating or Lanval kissing the queen and disappearing. "Merlin. Say something."

"I'm alright."

"No you are not! You're bleeding out all over the floor and Leon is taking his sweet time getting Gaius." Merlin's eyes seemed to be going in and out of focus, looking passed Arthur wistfully.

"You're safe. That's all I need."

"You need a doctor."

Merlin laughed, than coughed. He looked in his hand and there was blood. He closed his eyes and Arthur began to seriously panic. His father sat up behind him but he was focusing on Merlin. "No, no, no, no. Merlin. Stay with me. Please, don't do this now." He didn't respond this time at all and his breathing was getting week. "Merlin. You can't die here. You can't." He still didn't respond. Arthur used his free hand to stoke Merlin's hair.

Merlin's eye lids lifted enough for him to look at Arthur. His mouth twitched into a smile for a brief moment. "I love you." It came out as a rasp for breath. Arthur felt the tears stream down his face and roll off his cheeks.

"Shut up." He choked out, shaking his head. "Please don't say it like that. Not like it's your last words." Just then Gloriana and Gaius rounded the corner.

Uther began to protest but Gloriana outstretched her hand at him, "_Mamera."_ his eye balls rolled back and Gaius and Gloriana came on the other side of Merlin. "Arthur, hold his head." Arthur did as told, moving up by Merlin's head and holding it between his hands. He gently stroked Merlin's forehead without even really thinking about it. Gloriana and Gaius stretched their arms out above Merlin and chanted something he didn't so much understand what it was as feel what they were saying. It was to heal. Merlin cried out, clenching his teeth just before calming down. His breathing became more regular and Arthur felt glee and relief pass through him.

Gloriana wiped her soaked brow. "Sorry it took so long to find him."

Arthur just grinned, "He'll be alright."

She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "I- I'm so sorry. You didn't- You could have been-"

"It was Morgause. I know how fierce your people's love for you is. I hope to be even close to being as admired one day.

"I'll never be able to make this up to you."

Arthur brushed hair from Merlin's sweaty forehead. "You already did." Gloriana watched him watch Merlin.

"How do you not know?" She whispered, tears falling down her cheeks as she tried not to laugh. Arthur met her gaze, confused. "How do you not realize it when you feel it like that? I can't stop crying."

Before Arthur could say anything Sir Leon and a few guards turned the corner and Gloriana seemed to decide it was a good time to disappear. "Sire?"

"They'll be alright. Move my father to his room. I've got this one." Arthur lifted Merlin under his knees and behind his back, turning and heading for Gaius' chambers.

Gaius hurried after him, "Are you sure-?"

"Yes."


	13. Chapter 13

Merlin knew he was no longer dreaming but didn't open his eyes. He hoped he would fall back into his dream and once again be lying on the beach next to a half naked prince discussing the beauty of the fish as they flew through the air. It didn't make sense but it didn't need. The bed was too comfortable to pass up the chance for more sleep. At that thought Merlin's eyes flew open.

It was definitely the ceiling of his room. Merlin sat up. His bed was slightly larger and softer then what he remembered. He couldn't have been imagining it. He stood and suddenly felt weak, stumbling.

"Oh, right. Blood loss." He said quietly. He lifted up his night shirt but didn't find a wound or scar. "Strange." He could have sworn he remembered being stabbed through the gut with a spell. Vividly remembered, actually. He slowly made his way to the door and opened it. Gaius was reading a book, looking up when he heard the door

The old man gave him a wide smile, "You're awake!" Merlin smiled as Gaius got up and hugged him. "Thank goodness. I wasn't expecting you to recover so quickly."

"What you mean?"

"Well, the attack only happened yesterday, I was expecting you to be out for at least a week."

Merlin smirked, "You seem to forget who I am."

Gaius shook his head, "Sometimes I do."

"What happened with Morgause and Gloriana?"

"Gloriana put the king to sleep while she and I healed you. Morgause's body disappeared in the chaos. The king came too, and seems to be missing large chunks of information, like that the attack involved anyone but Morgause but remembers things like you nearly dying and defending him."

"That's convenient."

"She can read minds, doesn't surprise me much that she can alter them too."

Just then they heard shouting coming from the corridor, "Seriously father, he saved my life. Again! I will check on him as often as I like and-" The door opened and their stood the prince and the king. Both stopped at the sight of Merlin, awake and standing. Arthur dropped a scroll he was holding and ran to him, hugging him tightly. "Thank the gods." He whispered into the crook of Merlin's neck. Merlin hugged him back, avoiding the king's stare as he remembered their talk. It was hard to protect from a distance if the prince was going to keep invading his personal space. Arthur pulled back, giving him a broad smile that melted Merlin's resolve again.

"Did someone switch out my bed?"

Arthur's smile fell, "You needed a new one. How did you sleep on that thing?"

Merlin's eyes finally found Uther's. There was something like defeat in them, and the tiniest bit of amusement. "I hear you saved my life, boy, as well as my son's. You fought well. Such a small comfort was nothing compared to the deeds you've done." Arthur looked at his father, surprised. Uther shook his head picking up the scroll from the floor. "I'll send a servant down with some food." He left, closing the door behind him.

Merlin gulped, "So I get to keep my head?"

Gaius nodded, "Seems like it." the old man fixed his robes and straightened, smiling. "I've got an errand to run. I'll be back in a few hours." Gaius gave them a nod, and left as well, leaving the two of them alone.

Arthur turned to Merlin. "If you scare me like that again, I'll kill you myself. Deal?" Merlin nodded, confused but happy. "Good."

When the silence went on for more than a few minutes Merlin cleared his throat, "Well?" Arthur looked at him, then looked away quickly. He shifted from foot to foot. "Are you alright, Arthur? Are you not feeling well?" Merlin raised his hand and lightly touched Arthur's forehead. He recoiled back a few inches, looking frightened. "I'm sorry. I was just-"

"No, I am. You surprised me, is all. It's okay. Really." Arthur stepped forward again, swallowing hard. Merlin searched the prince's face for an answer.

"Sire."

"There's no one here Merlin. Stop calling me sire." Arthur ran his fingers through his hair.

"You can tell me, Arthur."

"It's not fair to you. Telling you… Knowing that-"

"Fair or not, I know you'll tell me eventually. You're a selfish prat like that."Arthur was trying to look anywhere but his eyes now. "You contemplating changing makes me concerned for your health. That fight must have knocked a few bits loose."

Arthur met his eyes. A look was growing in them that was hard to ignore. Merlin took a step forward, shortening the gap between them. Arthur's hand came up as if to touch his face but stopped half way moving as if it didn't know where to go. "I-…" The hand finally went back to hanging at his side, then reached forward and held Merlin's gently. "I love you..." He breathed in like it was difficult, shaking as he squeezed his hand. "Knowing who I am and who you are, I can see why it never even crossed my mind that was what it was. I didn't think of it because it was so terribly unfair." Tears started to swell in Arthur's eyes and Merlin was speechless; that had not been what he expected at all. It was so jarring he just stood there. "And nothing could ever happen between use because I have to marry and have an heir and be the prince and then king and you'll always be just my servant and that hurt so badly I can't-"

Merlin couldn't take it anymore; he leaned forward, kissing him. Arthur tensed a bit in surprise, but Merlin pulled back quickly to shake his head. "Arthur, whatever happens, or doesn't happen doesn't matter. We'll do what we must and right now I must kiss you again."

Arthur didn't wait for him. He grabbed the back of Merlin's neck and pulled him in. They didn't notice the door open and Gwen squeaking then leaving the room once more after placing the food by the door. Merlin wobbled a bit and Arthur pulled back, "Lord, I forgot. You need to eat." They turned to the door and noticed the tray. Arthur blushed furiously. "This will be all over the castle by sundown."

Merlin grinned, as he sat at Gaius' table. Arthur brought him the tray. "There were rumors before, anyway."

"What?"

"Don't act so surprised, you were calling me to your chambers at all hours of the night, I help you dress, wake you up. I was so obviously pining after you; it would be strange if there wasn't talk."

Arthur shook his head, "Servants and their gossip."

"We've got seldom little else to do."

"What about your _job?_" Merlin leaned forward, and kissed him again. "Oi! Don't think I'm just going to start going easy on you or anything, you are still my servant."

"But I'm also so much more than that."

Arthur smiled softly, "You've always been more than that. Now eat. Can't have you passing out or anything. My room is a mess."

"It was clean not twenty four hours ago!"

"Well, worrying over your safety blocks out what little knowledge I have about keeping it tidy." Arthur grabbed an apple from the tray and Merlin at the rest. Merlin couldn't believe his luck. "Home at last." Arthur whispered wistfully. Merlin gave him a curious look and Arthur pulled out his compass, taking it off and holding it out for Merlin. "Try it." It was pointing at him but when Merlin took it the needle spun around to face Arthur.

"Home." Merlin shook his head, "That isn't what I intended at all."

"Does your magic EVER go as planned?"

"Nope. Never. It'd get boring if it did."


End file.
